Well, in what comes as no surprise to anyone on the right (or with half a brain), the second week of Trump’s presidency went well; the world isn’t over, nobody has used nuclear weapons, he has not (yet?) revealed himself to be the anti-Christ, etc.
Last Wednesday, Trump was even in Delaware! He made an unannounced trip to Dover Air Force Base to honor the returning remains of a U.S. Navy SEAL killed in Yemen.
In case anyone who reads this wants to blame Trump for the Navy SEAL’s death, as the CNN article points out, it “had been in the planning stages for months under President Barack Obama.” So if anyone is to blame for the death of Chief Petty Officer William “Ryan” Owens, it is President #44.
Actually, in fairness to Obama, that’s not at all true — you know who is to blame? al Qaeda.
According to several news outlets, the raid Yemen last week in which Owens was killed had a specific objective — the leader of al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula. Unfortunately, that waste of flesh (Qassim al-Rimi) is still alive and taunting our President.
Mr. al-Rimi, it is my sincere hope that your Allah-worshiping ass gets blown to bits soon. And if there are virgins waiting for you up there in Heaven (where, let’s be honest, you won’t be going), I hope they look like Lena Dunham. Speaking of, have you heard that she’s crediting Donald Trump for her weight loss? Apparently she’s so depressed or whatever that she can’t eat food. Trump is making America Great in ways no one could have predicted — the less Lena Dunham, the better. Ideally, I’d like her to just fade into obscurity and never appear on television again, but I suppose I’ll settle for there just being “less” of her.
In other Delaware news, there was the prison riot in Smyrna last week. As everyone knows, one correction officer is dead (RIP Lt. Steven R. Floyd), and there was a memorial held on Sunday.
Naturally, the thugs who murdered Lt. Floyd are blaming — you guessed it — Donald Trump!
So here’s what I’ve learned this week: an al Qaeda leader and a bunch of homicidal felon thugs hate our President. Well, if that’s the case, Trump must be a pretty decent guy!
And how great was the Super Bowl? I admit that if it weren’t for Tom Brady, I’d have been rooting for the Falcons, but Brady has been treated like crap by the press for his friendship with Donald Trump. Apparently we live in a world where a professional football player can’t be friends with the leader of the free world. Such tolerance from the left!
I’m glad Brady is going out on top, with a win — and who knows, maybe he’ll find himself working for his buddy pretty soon!